Michelle | Theona

FIFA 2010

2010-07-11T09:48:00.000-07:00

Last match of the season....so who will this year's winner be?

Though I wish that they had won instead:

Certainly becoming very fond of its history- the first country, who's history I consider modern, has attracted me especially all the ones involving bloodshed and criminals. =P

Just when I decided to let go, you come back.

-chelle-

2010-07-09T09:23:00.000-07:00

It's better to stop right now than to see oneself fall in much deeper...or have I already?

No I don't think so. That's the best thing about the solid rocks that surround my heart...I don't fall and hurt like I use to.

God and AE are the perfect antidotes.

-chelle-

2010-07-07T21:29:00.000-07:00

God, please help me help her.

-chelle-

2010-07-05T20:15:00.000-07:00

As expected it was just the two of us.

Visited the MET museum in NY yesterday:

And thanks to Gabby, I've a new favourite past time....so if I become more psycho it's all her fault. =)

-chelle-

2010-07-01T00:11:00.000-07:00

Let's see how the past plays out in the future tomorrow:

And I do wonder whether tomorrow will be better than yesterday....

-chelle-

2010-06-29T18:56:00.000-07:00

9.45 am: My heart broke once again.

Sometimes I just wonder "what if".....and I let my mind wonder to how amazing it would be to wake up every morning knowing that I get to spend my day with people who understand my heart's desire....but the tears that fill my eyes brings me back to reality.

-chelle-

2010-06-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

I love every single moment I spend with you.

-chelle-

Q and C.

2010-06-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

Went out with Q to Empire:

Can't wait for our psycho trip next week cause I know you girls will help get my mind off things.

-chelle-

Q.MY.V.C

2010-06-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

Just realized that the blog is full of words and no pictures. So introducing my three new psychopaths whom I miss terribly right now.

Q! <3

One major thing we share in common.

Three musketeers and...

MY, who's always missing. *hugs*

V, what can I say?

And yours sincerely...pretending to be cool. =P

What can I say except that I have been truly blessed by Him through the three of them.

-chelle-

2010-06-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

"At first I could see nothing, the hot air escaping from the chamber causing the candle flame to flicker, but presently, as my eyes grew accustomed to the light, details of the room within emerged slowly from the mist, strange animals, statues, and gold-everywhere the glint of gold. For the moment-an eternity it must have seemed to the others standing by-I was struck dumb with amazement, and when Lord Carnarvon, unable to stand the suspense any longer inquired anxiously, "Can you see anything?" It was all I could do to get out the words, "Yes, wonderful things."

- Howard Carter, on the discovery of the tomb of Tutankhamun, November 1922

One day, it will be me.

For safe keeping, I'll place solid rocks on one another and build a pyramid around my heart.

-chelle-

2010-06-22T00:17:00.000-07:00

What I want this summer (UK's summer, that is):

"How to read Egyptian Hieroglyphs" by Collier and Manley.

"Fantastic Mummies Open Up The Secrets of Ancient Egyptian Mummies" by Taylor.

"Nefertiti: Egypt's Sun Queen" by Tyldesley.

"Conversations with Mummies" by David.

I know where my two month allowances will be going to....Kinokuniya.

P.S: learning a dead language is certainly harder than I expected.

-chelle-

2010-06-20T08:06:00.000-07:00

I have push the old aside and am ready for the new.

-chelle-

2010-06-16T09:01:00.000-07:00

After 8 weeks of accidents, pain, craziness and everything else a normal university student would experience, I AM DONE!!!! EXAMS ARE OVER and I can return to my first love; AE.

"10 Things I Hate About You":

1. I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
2. I hate the way you drive my car.
3. I hate it when you stare.
4. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.
5. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.
6. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right.
7. I hate it when you lie.
8. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
9. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.
10. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Thank You God for FIFA WORLD CUP!!! Go GERMANY!!!

-chelle-

2010-06-06T03:17:00.000-07:00

Kind of nervous about tomorrow, it is the first time I'm sitting for my uni exam.

*crosses fingers and toes*

-chelle-

2010-06-03T19:16:00.000-07:00

The stress game is on but I will fight for what is mine.

The stress game is on but there is a joy within me; just knowing that I am still able to do what I want to do.

The stress game is on but most importantly, I know that You are there for me through it all.

-chelle-

2010-06-03T05:26:00.000-07:00

Know that you put a smile on my face like no one else has.

-chelle-

MAY

2010-05-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

May, by definition, has not been a good month. Filled to the brim with assignments from five subjects has not been easy to cope with but for my future, I do it willingly and with great friends, it becomes easier. That isn't what made May an uneasy month.

It is what happened on the 1st and the 22nd that have made it a terrible month. The 1st was a first time experience; one that I told myself I would never want to have happened again and swore that I would be more cautious on the road for others and my own safety. It drove me into a phobia I never had since I began driving two years ago. But now, the thought of driving at night isn't something I plan to do anytime soon.

Then when I had just gained back my confidence, I go through the whole horrid experience again, making it worse for my parents; who are amazing for being so understanding and not once scolding me at all.

Overlooking the phobia of driving (at any hour of the day) and the torn muscles, I have to say that regardless of what an awful month it has been, I have one very important person for just being there for me through it all, that is You! What would I do without You...I don't know.

You have even blessed me with parents who are truly understanding and only care about my safety and overlooked the fact that the accidents happened in the span of three weeks, and for the three amazing friends that I could immediately text and call, and felt at peace immediately.

You are my strength, my love, my grace, my protector and most importantly, my God.

-chelle-

All I ever wanted....

2010-05-16T05:04:00.000-07:00

I have been looking forward to tonight's Discovery Channel show at 9 pm but something came up and it is as if I lost a date with a super cute guy.

These are what I miss seeing on the TV because that's the closest I can get to seeing it face to face...now.

-chelle-

Cloud 9 (only E can do so).

2010-05-10T09:55:00.001-07:00

http://www.swan.ac.uk/egypt/conference010.htm

Thanks Swansea for making my day. :)

-chelle-

The mummy who bought her daughter a present on mother's day eve.

2010-05-08T17:12:00.000-07:00

The woman who inspires me to be all I can be:

Love you lots mummy and thank you for

Love always,

-chelle-

2010-05-06T09:11:00.000-07:00

It's somewhat undeniable that it has been awhile that someone has made my heart beat faster, caused butterflies in my stomach, made me blush and smile like a fool....then you came.

But what am I suppose to do next?

-chelle-

2010-05-03T07:41:00.000-07:00

There is this uneasiness that I feel when I think about you, but I have to admit that you're the first in a long time who has made my heart beat just that little faster. It just feels so odd and weird and too much all at the same time.

Why do I do?

-chelle-

fearless, breathless and everything in between.

2010-04-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, you've gotten me head over heels.

At least I'm being me again.

-chelle-

Messed up.

2010-04-27T17:37:00.000-07:00

I feel like the wounds have healed but the scars continue to haunt and scare me.

I have let the past go but I still cannot move forward.

What is so hard about a smile or acknowledging you?

Where is that fear coming from?

This is so stupid and silly. This isn't me.

-chelle-

What a great relief.

2010-04-23T10:26:00.000-07:00

Life has all the ups and downs but He has provided three super cool angels to help me through it all. (And one of the downs happened tonight when I got a call that had me dashing out immediately.)

We need a new picture, Sa.

My 'siao-est' partner in crime, though we're living separate lives.

My 'newest' angel, who let's me spend too much time at her crib. Haha.

And I wonder whether I would want to be in your shoes...then again He has place my being here for a reason and for that, I would say "no".

-chelle-

unfailing love, amazing grace.

2010-04-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

And You saw me
When You took a crown of thorns
And Your blood washed over me
And You loved me
Through the nails that You bore
And Your blood washes over me

Everyday You amaze me.

-chelle-

2010-04-11T03:44:00.001-07:00

Many people make the mistake of thinking that dreams cannot come true, but they can. You have to believe, and know that they are more than just imagination.

— Zahi Hawass

-chelle-

There has to be a reason...

2010-04-09T02:10:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me two days ago "why are you so happy?" and it got me thinking. I have definitely been happier the pass month than I have been in a while...so why is that so?

I'm not where I really want to be, I'm not studying exactly what I want to...I'm not able to fulfill my passion to the max now...and yet I still feel a great joy each and every morning that I awake (except for yesterday when I had to take Sa to the dentist at 9 am..).

I really have no proper logical reason to state why I'm happy except for "He is the reason'.

He let me go through hell the last six months of 2009 and it broke everything inside of me and though I am still recovering, still learning, still not fully satisfied...He has made everything so worth it.

Through hell He stood by me and taught me that though I may not be able to get to where I want to immediately, I'll always have Him.

He makes studying in Monash SO MUCH BETTER. He makes the essay on Egyptian art SO FUN...He makes me realise that...

He is the reason why I am so happy.

-chelle-

Mah soul sista!

2010-04-05T05:09:00.000-07:00

Dear soul sister; S,

You so need a big hug but we are a little far apart so pretend that every time you feel upset or discourage or just down, I am there to give you a hug and know that I have got your back 1 million %.

Love always,

-chelle-

One month and His faithfulness continues.

2010-04-01T17:53:00.000-07:00

A month has passed by with Him being there for me everyday, with Him answering a very important prayer I prayed a month earlier.

Though this was never in my plan, He has made it beautiful and light and happy for me. To be honest, I have never felt happier since SPM results.

I see things from a new light and though I am still aiming to go abroad but I know that He will get me there according to His plan (not mine).

But yeah, I feel blessed because my parents can afford it, support my decision and allow me to do both, to be able to do something more steady and to do what my heart desires to do more than anything else.

-chelle-

To Know Your Name

2010-03-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

Should be getting my research going in the freezing library but the song just keeps playing in my mind (and ear).

It just makes me want to start worshipping but gotta do it all silently. Ironic how He decides to put me in this mood at the most inconvenient (did I spell that correctly) place.

But,

Cause I know You gave the world
Your only Son for us
To know Your name
To live within the Saviour's love and He took my place
Knowing He'd be crucified
And You loved, You loved
A people undeserving!

How is it possible that He chose to love and sacrifice for a person so undeserving?

-chelle-

Stress? Complain?

2010-03-11T08:03:00.000-08:00

It is that simple: when you love what you are doing, there is no understanding of the word "complain" and "stress". You just simply enjoy all the work given and embrace the hectic life ahead of you.

Again and again, I will say "thank You for this passion!"

-chelle-

2010-03-10T01:42:00.000-08:00

Enjoying the buziness that uni life is offering, right from the start. :)

Loving Psychology and though International Studies is a little too modern for my taste, it is still History but as I'm doing notes for Psych while talking to my Egyptology friends, they remind me of my bigger dream.

Can't remember that psychologist name but he mentioned something about a pyramidal need and that you can aim for a big thing but you have to focus on the smaller ones before reaching for the big one. And more importantly, Maslow says that we should pursue the things that we are good at.

I know what I am good at, He has blessed me with a talent like no other and the course I undertake proves that and I won't let it go.

Instead of feeling awful and upset, I feel light and happy and I know it is because He is helping me through every single day for the rest of my tertiary life.

Again and again...I serve an AMAZING WONDERFUL GOD!!!

-chelle-

Not about my love for history.

2010-03-01T20:41:00.000-08:00

It suddenly dawned upon me that some 'past' you just want to erase them so that you don't have to keep living them every year in the future. But the past happens because...(ok I don't know why the past happens) but I know that I learn from all the past.

Sometimes, I wish we never had a past so that we don't have to live the future together. But, you are always going to be a part of my life and there is nothing I can do to change that.

should be doing my reading assignment but the thought just came and bloggie here I am.

-chelle-

I see the rays of sun.

2010-03-01T04:07:00.000-08:00

First day of classes: American Music and Popular Culture, and Film and Television Studies- all I got to do is go for a concert and watch multiple movies!

Now He has a way of making my first day a good one. Excited for tomorrow because it is the beginning of me studying Psychology so that I can drive A up the wall and into the ceiling. Haha.

At the end of the day, I'm just so thankful that He was there with me through it all and just made it better. I serve a totally friggin' awesome almighty God!!!!

-chelle-

A fresh start?

2010-02-24T23:43:00.000-08:00

It's a ~~new~~ beginning. It was 'O' week- basically the general introduction to the university, a tour, the library, the 9 buildings and 6 levels each (good exercise) etc.

How do I feel about it? Let's just say I have got this superbly amazing Friend, JC, who spent the entire time just being by my side and holding my hand through the first day and the second and the third. He is truly an amazing Friend but more importantly an even better God and Saviour.

Now all that is running through my mind is that I have got to learn to balance everything and I am excited to start studying again especially one subject known as Psychology but doing it here, not so thrilled about it but like I said above, I have got Him and that is one thing I cannot be more thankful for.

into the mirror I look and all I can say is "I lay every burden down...at the foot of the cross."

-chelle-

Sucker for romance.

2010-02-17T23:56:00.000-08:00

I think the right person is the one who inspires you to become a better person, to achieve all that you can achieve, to be who you are and the one who has all the faith in you.

Nicholas Sparks is amazing!

-chelle-

Scream

2010-02-15T07:08:00.000-08:00

Funny how Disney movies or songs inspire me to reach further out to touch my dream or remind me that I should not give up on what matters in my heart.

Guess it does sound somewhat cheesy and maybe childish but they have many movies with great in-between the lines meaning that I have learned to listen or watch through each movie.

The day a door is closed
The echoes fill your soul
They won't say which way to go
Just trust your heart

To find you're here for
Open another door
But i'm not sure anymore
It's just so hard

Voices in my head
Tell me they know best
Got me on the edge
they're pushin', pushin',
they're pushin'
I know they've got a plan
But the balls in my hands
This time its man-to-man,
I'm driving, fighting inside

A world that's upside down
Spinning faster
What do I do now? Without you

I'm kickin' down the walls
I gotta make 'em fall
Just break through them all
I'm punchin', crashin', I'm gonna
Fight to find myself
Me and no one else
Which way? I can't tell,
I'm searchin', searchin', can't find the

Road that I should take
I should! turn right or left is
It's like nothing works without you

I don't know, where to go, what's the right team?
I want my own thing. So bad I'm gonna Scream!
I can't choose, so confused! What's it all mean?
I want my own dream. So bad I'm gonna Scream!

-chelle-

losing.

2010-02-09T17:56:00.000-08:00

There’s always going to be another mountain I’m always going to wanna make it move, always going to be an uphill battle, sometimes I’m going to have to lose”

That last word of this amazingly beautiful song has never been allowed to enter my mind. It seems to me that if I acknowledged that ending part, it would mean I would be giving up on my dream, my desire, the peak of that mountain. It has been a struggle for the pass two years and yes, it is somewhat easier to understand the situation I am in now but somtimes, the slightest word or thing triggers that big space in my heart and tears start flowing down. It can be so frustrating not being able to achieve your dream- having to wait for a long more while, to have to do something else besides what makes you so genuinely happy- that hurts like hell. Most of the time, it hurts more than a betrayal of a friend or a love one. Yes, it really means that much to me.

But this post isn’t about me ranting over and over again how much I j’adore my dream, how much I desire to see it come true right now. No, it is about me accepting where I am right now and what I will be doing for the next three years; studying in Monash University. As much as I hate the thought of it, but like the song says “sometimes I’m going to have to lose” but then again as the song continues “it’s not about how fast I get there, it’s about the climb.” I learned from watching Hannah Montana, the movie again that I have to accept where God has placed me for now- He knows what He’s doing. Maybe I’m not ready (though I feel so ready) but He knows me best (as cheesy as that sounds, that’s the truth. He created and mould me, so He does know me best.)

1st March 2010 marks the real beginning of where I will be for the next three years, a nightmare which will eventually subside into a wonderful experience and then I’ll be able to achieve my dream. Psych, International Studies and Gender Studies are all super interesting subjects that I have always thought of studying but they are nowhere near the place E has in my heart.

“I have got to be strong. I have got to keep fighting, keep climbing and keep the faith.”

-chelle-

2010-02-07T01:13:00.000-08:00

Do you know the feeling of reading a simple message or a text from someone and it simply makes your day so much better even if the day is nearing to an end? I do.

God has bless me with a group of people that love me for who I am and this group of people, though small in number, is the best thing in life. I know I can say all I want about Egypt, History, Bones, achieving my dream etc, but without their support, their love, their "you go Chelle!" my dream would not be able to come true because they are the ones driving me towards the dream, reminding me always that I have what it takes. Not only that, their love, support and care is a small reflection of how much God loves, supports and cares for me for He has brought them into my life.

She is one of those people in that small group. She has known me since I was in diapers, had my first crush and though we have had our time apart, the day we had (yesterday) and the little messages that carry so much reminds me that, at the end of it all, I am truly bless to have her in my life.

S, you too have made my day so much better and me so much happier!

P.S: Tomorrow is a different day. I will be stepping into what I would personally call "a little nightmare" especially since it is far away from my dream. But I have got to take this window since all doors are close. ~~sucks.~~

-chelle-

Dedicated to S.

2010-02-06T04:24:00.000-08:00

Today was that kind of day where you had a gut feeling that everything was going to go fine and it did, thus, making your day a fantasticc one.

Why today was different from every other day? That is because I got to spend it with someone I grew up with, someone I grew to love more each and every day (no I'm not a lesbian), someone who despite the time apart still knows me best and that someone is my dearest bestie, S. Sadly I don't know how to hook the scanner to my laptop (the actual reason is I'm too lazy to get my ass off the bed) to show you a picture of us. =D

I spent the day shopping with her and her brother's girlfriend and mum- it was so much fun. All the laughter we shared and the "I'm fat" comments. Haha. Will treasure this day forever and am looking forward to our next outing.

Love you always S!!! And know that I WILL ALWAYS be there for you. *hugs*

Here are the things I bought today (warning: bad quality pictures)

Clearly am an addict for handbags.

Another LBD, though the pattern on the waist is not visible. Oh well.

Love this one!!!

Different touch to my favourite outfit, tank tops.

-chelle-

B.O.N.E.S

2010-02-03T07:40:00.000-08:00

Superly Huge Gigantic OMG and *faints*

The show that taught me to love the dead even more. The show that made me realise I should have taken Biology and dropped Physics instead. The show that blows my mind every time with all the skeletons....*big screams*

It has FINALLY downloaded though not complete yet but majority done! *faints*

Bones! One of the two shows that help me discover more about what and how I want my future to be like. Loving it so much! And starting my show now!!! *runs off*

-chelle-

2010-01-31T08:26:00.000-08:00

Just watched

The author, Nicholas Sparks, is one ~~hell~~ of an author. Not only does the story focus on the relationship between Lennon (Shane West) and Jaime (Mandy Moore) but it also touches on the other relationships he shares with his dad, mum, friends and Jaime's father. Beautifully written and beautifully laid out on-screen.

Makes me want to believe in happy ending fairy tales again but I guess I have got 'ugly truth' drilled into me to remind me about reality. Still it was a beautiful movie (yeah I know I keep using the word 'beautiful' but really there is no other way to describe it).

Lesson learned: Get a bucket list and share it with the boyfriend, see whether he can make it come true. I want a telescope that can see the Giza plateau!

Quotes from the movie:

Jamie: You know what I figured out today?
Landon: What?
Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I'm sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel.

Jamie: You have to promise you won't fall in love with me.
Landon: That's not a problem.

Landon: Jamie has faith in me. She makes me want to be different, better.

Landon: Our love is like the wind... I can’t see it, but I sure can feel it.

Landon: I'm sorry she never got her miracle.
Reverend Sullivan: She did. It was you.

*melts*

-chelle-

2010-01-27T01:18:00.000-08:00

First of all, Cerlyn I had a fun time accidentally bumping into you at Parade and then lunch at Nando's. Love you girl! *hugs*

Now...

I have been busy with my mid-term essay (for Man U) and it is hard. It is difficult to gather all the information, to dissect them into different compartments and then to write it. It is extra hard because this means SO MUCH to me; it needs to be ~~perfect~~ but then again nothing is perfect. Despite the difficulty and at times confusion, E is someone I love and desire to accomplish, owing to that, I will do anything I can to 'perfect' my essay.

Classes and assignments are slowly catching up with me already and then there's Mon U- what can I say about this one? Not going to be easy because ideally I should be packing my luggages now with my babies inside one luggage for them and saying goodbye to everyone, but realistically, I am still here...nowhere closer to the dream yet somewhat closer to it, thanks to Man U.

Will I like Mon U- I don't know but I have got to try.

Lastly, Barbara you are such a dear sweetheart! I loved our crazy chatting experience via the whiteboard the other night.

the whiteboard by Wimba Pronto.

outfit for the day.

-chelle-

2010-01-22T01:39:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to run out of ideas to write for the blog...again.

Watched Glee for the first time, on Wednesday, the show taught me one thing (which though I know already, it still feels good to hear it from another 'person'): "if you have the heart for something, go all out for it and don't let anyone or anything get in the way of it."

Oh yeah, I opened up to them though I think I do regret a little for doing so, then again it does feel good to let them know that I am not just doing so just because I was asked to but because I have the heart ~~for it~~ for them and more importantly because I love Him.

A little visible prayer:

"Father, I ask that You bring great comfort, strength and aid to the nation of Haiti for they are truly in need of someone more powerful than Barack Obama to show them that no matter what, there is someone, You, who's going to make it ok for them."

-chelle-

2010-01-17T04:34:00.000-08:00

It is difficult especially in finding all sorts of resources online and not having and proper books to refer to besides the virtual ones- rather "headach-ing" but I'm learning more as I dig more and more.

To complain about its difficulty and all is injustice as this subject offers more joy and excitement rather than confusion.

It truly is a great joy to be able to study E!

Me in my new leggings. Hehe.

-chelle-

2010-01-14T07:30:00.000-08:00

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue
And it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on.

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love, cause love is overdue
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from You.

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to Haiti.

-chelle-

2010-01-10T07:09:00.000-08:00

Re-writing Nefertiti and Forensic Aspect of Ancient Egypt lectures by Joyce Tyldesley at Manchester University and UCL.

These are two of the MANY reasons WHY I NEED to be in UK instead of here. I am thankful for God's blessing me with the chance to just study with Manchester Uni...but...at times (most of the time) it hurts not being able to be over there to witness it all real life and...so much more......

When you desire something so much, they say "dream big"!

-chelle-

2010-01-10T06:17:00.000-08:00

To say that the year started out on a great note for me and my group of friends is well, of course, untrue. We experienced first-hand the passing of a dearly beloved brother whom many of us grew up with, formed a great bond with and were impacted by the way he lived his life especially over the past two and a half years or so.

"A champion. A warrior. He truly was."

With so many wet eyes over the course of the funeral services, I wished I could have shed even a single tear but...

I know that he is in a paradise like no other and with someone who loves him more than all of us put together.

On a lighter note: I have been up to nothing...BORING!!! I seriously cannot wait for 15th January! My (virtual) friends I have missed you like crazy and 1st February, please come much slower- essay haven't even figured out! Damn!! But....ah I LOVE EGYPTOLOGY!!!

my morning and night view for ...sadly... just one night. =(

-chelle-

A little sad note.

2010-01-03T04:48:00.000-08:00

It's empty...it's blank...it's silent.

Do you believe in "absence makes the heart grow fonder"? (hope I wrote the phrase correctly) I can't say that I have really ever believed in the statement till lately. One month away from what seems to drive me daily is pretty depressing. There are other things to do related to it but to be able to interact and have great conversation with people who truly understand your passion is fantastic. I am so blessed that He has given me this opportunity to enhance and develop my skills in something I really believe in.

Speaking up today in class was,well, awkward but that is how I am in the virtual world. Small errors becomes a confusion for me and I love it so much when I can ask someone about it and then tons of replies, is what I receive.

It is so hard to express how much I 'j'adore' this group of people who are thousands of miles away from me yet they seem to hold a special place in my heart and my life. To me, it is like they are a group of friends (irregardless of the big age difference) that I have never had and am just so truly blessed that He has brought this big group of people into my life, though it seems to remain virtually.

It aches at times reading about their adventure to E but whoa, I love them for it because I know they truly appreciate all that AE has to offer.

E (speaking in context where it has been fully established that God is number one) is really one 'person' that seems to drive me daily. It gives me some crazy strength and something to look forward to every single day. I may not have been doing my work much lately but it remains in my mind and heart every single moment. I want to be able to go there- it is one mountain I know I must climb over.

If I feel so much for E, what more I should feel and sacrifice for the One who brought E to life.

-chelle-

2010-01-03T01:55:00.000-08:00

Suddenly the past dawned upon me (as if that doesn't happen often enough) when they were talking about going back to school. I remember those days waking up at the wee hours of dawn, tossing around the bed, turning the radio to mixfm morning crew- Serena C and Pietro. All those somewhat nostalgic memories that can no longer be repeated, or can it? Tomorrow morning I'll try to do so at 6-7 to listen to their new morning crew- Rudy, Jay and Farhad.

I have no idea why I'm even writing this but oh well! :)

eesh...why can't my bluetooth function!!!

-chelle-

2009-2010

2009-12-31T22:33:00.000-08:00

Hello 2010! I'm so proud of myself for immediately sticking with one of my main new year's resolution and that is *drum roll* 30 minutes in the gym (even though I got lost on the way back home, haha).

2010 has arrived and 2009 is in the past but being the ever 'Modern Ancient Historian', it is only au natural for me to look back and dig up the past memories -good and bad- to learn from them (that is the greatest joy of History, learning.)

2009: Crazy year it was, in the sense of emotions and academic. Started the year with the determination to excel in my A Levels but somehow someway I failed as my goal and vision changed. From Law to Psychology to Ancient History to Psychology again. From UOL to Liverpool U to Macquaire U to Auckland U to Manchester U and Monash U. Truly it was a fantastically crazy emotional ride for me but I learnt something so valuable from the painful experience; He truly knows what is best for me and as much pain that I had to go through, He was that very ONE PERSON that stood right next to me, holding my hand through it all.
What better Saviour, God, King and Friend could I ever ask for?

2010: First of, I start with 'new' skin and a new diet that I have to follow- sucks. Secondly, I guess once again, my life's going to be revolved around my studies and I literally mean it since I have enrolled in both Manchester University (for Egyptology!!!) and Monash University (for Psychology), which means I shall be studying two courses simultaneously for the next three years. I know it is going to be tough as hell but for one of my greatest love, E, I am going to strive through the next three years and work my "blithering arse" off to do what I was born to do.
I am still here (Malaysia) because of 10 to 12 (and hopefully more) people and this is so because He has placed that burden within me and for Him and them, I am going to do my best in not only leading but leading in His way.

-chelle-

2009-12-31T21:36:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Outfit for the night:

sorry for the awful picture quality- room lighting sucks!

-chelle-

My song for 2010, I pray.

2009-12-27T05:54:00.000-08:00

All that I am
All that I have
I lay them down before You, oh Lord

All my regrets
All my acclaim
The joy and the pain I'm making them Yours

Things in the past
Things yet unseen

Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true

All of my hopes
All of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You

Indeed it is a beautiful 'transparent' song. The words are so meaningful but how times have we sung it with absolute understanding of its meaning?

Indeed it is a beautiful 'transparent' song. So easy to catch with words that are not hard to pronounce and a tune that isn't too hard, but how easy is it for us to do as the song says?

Indeed it is a beautiful 'transparent' song. The red words are painful and held closely to this Modern Ancient Historian's heart.

My wish and dream, I give it to You.

-chelle-

By God's given patience.

2009-12-24T01:05:00.000-08:00

What a way to spend my morning/afternoon Christmas eve- with a 17 year old boy who dissed two superbly important things in my life- God and Egypt.

I never knew I had such great patience until I met him (can't exactly remember his name either). First he spoke badly about Egypt without having proper knowledge and basing his 'fact' on "because many have said so", my sweet dear innocent robotically nimrod doofball, those people don't know the real hard facts or even have a clue of what they are saying. He can even insist on arguing with me after I told him that I am studying Egyptology and that I have solid proof that his 'facts' are 100 % incorrect.

Then, he disses about religion and says absurd stuff that I couldn't be bothered to really write down except for this very good part:

Nimrod: What is so good about religion? It's full of bullshit!

Me: The only reason why you're still in the car that I am driving is because of my faith.

Nimrod: That's what you call faith? That's your own nature.

Me: Oh trust me! My own nature would be to stop the car and have you out of it immediately.

Nimrod: god or religion didn't ....etc...

Me: Trust me! It's because of God's given patience that you're still in the car.

A: ok changing subject.

Never will I ever want to see that boy again who simply has no respect for ladies, people's belief and the people who nicely allowed her friend to bring him out. Asshole!

On a much much nicer note: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

-chelle-

2009-12-23T08:06:00.001-08:00

Is it possible to want two different "things" but more liikely a combination of both?

-chelle-

Something new, something fresh?

2009-12-22T04:49:00.000-08:00

A year has almost gone by- 10 more days till 2010. To say that time has passed by so fast is well...something I don't think I can say. I have spent 6 months doing almost nothing except for the occasional holidays but thank God for 1st October. That date marks a VERY essential point in my life, in my dream. It was the beginning of me transforming my dream into a reality- slow and steady wins the race.

I think I have learned a lot about myself the pass six months (of rotting)- my strength, my weaknessess, my dream, how I want my life to be like etc. In some ways, I feel like I don't want to encounter anymore disappointments but I heard something today from Montel Williams and Scott (something), "without the challenges, without the obstacles, without the disappointments, the ups mean nothing." Therefore, I am going to embrace all the obstacles that 2010 is going to bring me. No I am not being negative/pessimistic, I'm merely being realistic because I know that for the next three years, life for me especially academically will not be easy- there will not be any easy way out of the next three years but for the one thing I love with all my heart, I will not give up.

Jessica Lowndes- she is SO PRETTY!!! even without makeup.

*faints*

-chelle-

UP TO NO GOOD!

2009-12-18T08:52:00.000-08:00

I had time to spare today to do this (haven't done so in a while)

Sorry people but I couldn't help it. Haha. Love pic 1 and 3 the most.

I think I may have somewhat figured out why I'm still here (in Malaysia).

-chelle-

Hardcore: This is the Truth.

2009-12-16T09:10:00.000-08:00

There is still this super strong desire to go abroad. To know that A may have a chance next year breaks my heart as I will be overjoyed for her (success) but at the same time, pain because it isn't me saying "goodbye" at the other end.

It is not just about being able to study what I want (though that is my biggest motivation) but it is also about a fresh start; one that I know I won't really be able to achieve if I go to Australia.

I hate it because I know that I'm still here because He knows that I am ~~not~~ ready. I really want to restart everything but it is impossible as long as I'm here. I know deep inside my gut (and heart) that 'there' is where I belong, not here but there.

Somebody prayed just now "bless her at Monash". Just those four words... and tears filled my eyes and the pain resurfaced in my heart. It is as if reality suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks that yeah, I am not going to AU but to MU and studying something 'not really my first option'.

"I'm sorry to say that I have to reject the offer that Auckland University has given to me. Thank you for even considering me in the first place. Appreciate that the university gave me a chance."

I guess today is just one of those many 'down' days where the pain and reality overwhelms me.

-chelle-

2009-12-13T04:39:00.000-08:00

I think at times I feel bad for having no emotions. I can feel for those I don't know; for characters that may or may not exist but when it comes to those I know, the feelings seem to evaporate or worse, it seems to cease to exist.

That smile I give to you, that happy face I put on- I know it is all pretend. So, does that mean I don't genuinely love you? That is sad and mean on my part but feelings are hard to fight.

Seeing you reminds me of the most important thing in my life- the thing that I fight for every single day.

I rarely read story books with emotions. In fact, the books I read are all crime and mystery base- maybe that is how I have sort of become sadistic (as in Ancient Torture Methods). Maybe that is why factual books work best for me, because no emotions or feelings are required. But movies are different- my favourite genre is romantic comedy. Watching romantic comedies and understanding how she or he feels connects me with the character. I seem to understand them.

Dorothy Koomson has made history! Her best-selling book; "My best friend's girl" has gotten me hooked and emotionally intertwined. How she writes it- the plot and all the descriptions. No book has ever gotten me emotionally hooked like this. It almost breaks my heart and I pretty much tear up reading a number of the chapters. Good job, Dorothy Koomson!!!

-chelle-

2009-12-08T06:59:00.000-08:00

Here is what I did for today....

Now if you didn't know my mum loves extra people in the house. Well it has been about a week since we discovered that we've got a new family member which also has four legs but it is no way cute or cuddly or friendly or one that I even want in my room especially not near my food or my 20 + babies....

Ok, so this is my plan once we catch it: place little poison sweets in front of it, let it eat them, wave knife in front of its face, laugh at it, wave somemore and oops! there goes the neck! then saw of its tail, turn it upside down and hang it there for a few hours....while I go off and buy natron salt.

Dip it in natron salt for 70 days and then wrap it up with toilet paper and wave it at the rest of its friends!

*evil laugh* Mummy and sis think I've got a little nuts...but I'm not.

-chelle-

2009-12-05T03:08:00.000-08:00

I finally bought clothes with COLOUR! Mum and sister are very happy. Haha.

And as a reward for those who went for last night's YAC, we went snooker after. Haha.

-chelle-

2009-12-03T02:51:00.000-08:00

The above shows what happens to an anti-social person who suffers from the lack of the internet and electricity.

-chelle-

2009-11-29T22:54:00.000-08:00

okay, maybe I shouldn't have taken a picture with the foxi-est lady in the world...*close eyes*

Gave me the world, to take it all away

All you left me was yesterday
And this space in my heart
Now it's slowly tearin’ me apart
I'm takin’ all that I learned from you
I'll make it something I’ll never do
I can't be who you are
You taught me how to break a heart

P.S: Dear, it's your fault I'm hooked again.

-chelle-

I am officially in LOVE!

2009-11-24T23:18:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I have never known or seen anything more beautiful or magnificent than the ancient sites. There is something so EXTRAORDINARY about Ancient History. The sights of something so old are, to me, literally breathtaking- the stones, the mud, the pottery, and the bones. Worth more than the modern sights in Dubai or USA or wherever else in the modern world because the modern world derived their technologies, their ideas from the ancient world, but sadly only the minority seems to have realised that.

To be able to travel around the world to see all the historical sites- beautiful!

I’m really left at awe at all of its beauty that I have lost all the words to describe how I feel when I watch these sites from afar (my TV). I can only imagine (at this point of my life) the feeling of walking through these beautiful sites: Catalhoyuk; Turkey, Fiume; Egypt, Oregon; USA, Israel, Chan Chan; Peru, Jericho, Ephesus; Greece, Mayan; South America, Angkor; Cambodia and Jerusalem- I think I would just break down in tears the second I realise I’m placing my foot down on any of these sites.

And now, a mummy found in St. James (something) church in freaking LONDON!!!!

Thank God for “Out of Egypt” and “Mummy Autopsy” on Discovery Channel today!

Thank God for this great passion (regardless of how many obstacles I've got overcome).*faints*

-chelle-

2009-11-23T03:44:00.000-08:00

It is becoming more confusing and heavier by the topic but there is just this great sense of happiness and excitement boilling from within me.

I do feel insecure and incapable compared to my senior classmates but it is because of their great knowledge about E that encourages me to do better.

It is interesting that "the more complicated it gets, the crazier I fall in love with E."

off to finish studying before test. *nervous*

-chelle-

2009-11-22T20:18:00.000-08:00

New addition to my every growing "baby" family (LOL) :

Say hello to T-10! It looks better real life and I got it for fun! (Ok, I shouldn't be wasting money like that... *innocent smile*)

-chelle-

2009-11-17T19:18:00.000-08:00

Here's a true story:

She holds on to the pain because she fears that if she lets it go, if she lets the wound heal; it would mean that she's letting go of her dream- her passion, her desire- the one goal she must achieve before she is laid to rest.

The look in your eyes tells me that you have changed but you did so at the expense of a loved one- disgusting!

YAC 2, thank you so much for these BEAUTIFUL bangles!

-chelle-

2009-11-15T20:34:00.000-08:00

What one does on her birthday...*big grin*

11 books and counting...

-chelle-

19th Birthday!

2009-11-15T08:32:00.000-08:00

Thank You for the 19 years!

People! I went to Tarbush in KL and though it wasn't exactly Egyptian food but it was Middle Eastern and Hallelujah I LOVE THE FOOD!!!!Amen. Hehe.

How am I going to spend my birth- day this year: full day of Egyptian stuff! Best present I can give myself. hehe.

-chelle-

2009-11-13T03:16:00.000-08:00

*squeals* second goal in a row!

Even though the questions become harder with every passing week, I really do revel in the challenge to understand all the confusion and to answer the questions properly, and though there is seriously A LOT, I know I'm on the right path.

that's me on the red board! hehe.

birthday celebration top...

ok, I'm officially a nutcase for handbags!

-chelle-

2009-11-10T15:25:00.000-08:00

"passion never dies and will become a reality when the time is right." those are the words ~~spoken~~ texted by my mummy to me. *runs and hug her*

me: mummy! *hugs*

mummy: what do you want? (in sarcastic tone)

me: nothing.

mummy: ok, what did you do then? (sarcastically again)

Anyways, I'm so happy that my assignment received great reviews especially from my lecturer. *pat self on the back*

Now off to study somemore... 2 1/2 more days to celebrating!

-chelle-

2009-11-07T06:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, before I start hitting the papers, books and 'blackboard'...I'm rushing to complete this week's assignment which is about predynastic pottery (that's a first!), I shall bloggy a little:

Making notes

Spot the 'blackboard' (behind all that MSN boxes...hehe)

It's actually Milo but in a Nescafe cup...make sense? No...oh well. =P

Music, me saviour!

And all these rushing (it's 11 pm already) because I'm going for a serious shopping spree with me favourite Dragonfly, tomorrow:

Chelle,

I'm hiding...

Pain.

-chelle-

2009-11-04T01:19:00.001-08:00

Tell me what should I do when all I want is so far away, barely within my reach?

Honestly, it is not ok. I'm not ok. Everything's not ok.

I hate to hear people say "oh I miss home" "oh I rather be back home" "I can't wait to come back" etc. My reply to all of that crap is ~~bullshit!~~ Can't you see how blessed and fortunate you are to even have the opportunity to go overseas?

A says "think about it this way, you are even more fortunate to know what you exactly want in life. you have the goal and dream in life not like them." I agree but I can't deny that the pain and frustration are so.....!

-chelle-

2009-11-03T06:12:00.000-08:00

They are two people whom I know I can always depend on for support, strength and laughter:

-chelle-

Blank.

2009-11-01T23:26:00.000-08:00

With a heavy heart and a solemn face, she drove to the unwanted destination. As she parked her car and walked into the compound, with all her might she held back the tears that were waiting to just flow. As she walked, she wished and prayed so hard that it was all just a nightmare. When she entered the destination, she put on a fake smile but she knew her eyes told a whole different story. The walk back to her car was even more painful as she knew that her nightmare had finally become a reality. She told herself she would wait till she got back home to the comfort of her bed and Pooh, but the tears refused to obey.

Tell me, what should she do.

the pain instensifies with every passing second.

someone please tell her that it is only just a nightmare...

-chelle-

Lost.

2009-11-01T03:17:00.000-08:00

The pain is undoubtedly excruciating...I fight will all my might just not to let even a single tear drop.
It literally is unexplainable.
Part of me understands but the other part is so confused and in pain- I'm stuck in reality and my ideal world.

I actually feel so lost about my future. I don't know whether entering another MU is the right choice either but at this point, it's the only choice I have. I don't know what I'm to do after the three years in MU; where will that all lead me to?

Behind that angry and fierce facade is a girl in extreme pain, she doesn't know where to go and what to do anymore.

left alone standing in the rain
so that no one sees the tears I shed
waiting for that Someone to take me by the hand
and lead me to where I belong.

P.S: thank you for all the hugs!

- a never ending broken heart, chelle-

2009-10-29T22:17:00.000-07:00

When all doors are closed, find for a window- regardless of how small it maybe- and work from that point onwards.

I know that He is the one who decides my future and I guess it is just a person with Controller's personality that needs to be in control and plan for her own future. I want to do what He wants me to do but sometimes ~~all the time~~ I wish so hard that what He wants for me is what I want for myself.

The pain is unexplainable. The passion remains stronger than ever.

If now isn't the right time, then I guess I have no choice but to take that ~~stupid~~ window.

I still am holding onto my dream and I am going to transform that dream into a reality ~~sooner~~ or later.

Hold my hand
Lead me to
Where You want me to be.

-a broken heart chelle-

melts

2009-10-27T23:42:00.000-07:00

Guess what these four men have in common:

Eric Winter (Ugly Truth)

Chace Crawford (Gossip Girl)

David Henrie (WOWP)

Ben Barnes (Dorian Gray)

Answer: those gorgeous pair of EYES! (especially the last one)

I believe that eyes truly are the window to a person's soul.

Sorry, just had to blog about this. Too bad they are either taken or a little too old (hmmm....#3 is single and a year older only. hehe.)

And I guess we're really over, but come over, I'm not over it
Late night you make me feel like I'm desperate, I'm not desperate
A little bit possessive, little miss obsessive
Can't get over it now...

-chelle-

more pictures.

2009-10-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

for those who don't know, this is actually for babies.

Me: mummy, can I buy this? Please!

Mummy: you baby is it? no.

Me: *quitely walk away and put back on the shelf.*

kind of like my hairstyle here. what do you think?

tuning into: little miss obsessive- ashlee simpson.

-chelle-

The Ugly Truth.

2009-10-25T04:39:00.000-07:00

This is how my fringe actually looks like....*cries*

I've got good news and bad news:

Bad news: Someone's aunty just flew off to E for 11 days of wonder! Thanks J! =P

Good news: Someone said I dressed like an archaeologist today. Thank you MY! =D

-chelle-

2009-10-23T21:16:00.000-07:00

*screams*

I hate this feeling of knowing what you are made to do and yet incapable of making that happen.

Stupid feeling!!!!

It seems so hard to make it come true now. G says "gotta pray hard now" so yes... pray pray pray.

I feel like giving up now and just go enrol with Monash now but no I can't! I know if I just let go know, I'll haunt myself after I die.

I have got to do all I can do to make this happen!

-chelle-

2009-10-21T17:13:00.000-07:00

I have asked five times and the answer remains the same: NO.

Should I take that as an indication that maybe I'm not to go over or should I just look at it all as obstacles to which I am to overcome to get to the top?

It just frustrates me that I know exactly what I want to study and even more I know what I want to do in the future ie my career but more than half the people I know, get to study abroad without the slightest idea as to why they are studying that course or what they are going to do in the future. ~~Eggheads!~~

At the same time, I do not want to be like someone I know who wants to go overseas so much that the person pushes the parents to allow him/her to go abroad even though they are financially worse off than me. That is just plain selfish and self-centred of that ~~idiotic~~ person.

I know people who deserve to be able to study what they want and yet they are in the same situation as I am- they study something else and they are struggling but their natural talent is screaming out loud yet the parents don't seem to acknowledge it. Sucks big time!

I want it, I want it, I want it, I NEED it!

-chelle-

And my ID and password says I'm a Malaysian- sucks!

2009-10-20T05:41:00.000-07:00

Honestly one of the biggest idiots in the whole world is our Malaysian Education government:

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/10/20/nation/20091020123215&sec=nation

Teaching Science and Maths in BM?! Yeah, I respect the fact that Malaysians should know how to speak in BM, hence BM as a language subject is necessary but teaching two subjects that are advancing so rapidly in the international world; which by the way donkey Malaysian Edu gov is taught in ENGLISH, in BM are just plain RIDICULOUS, STUPID AND INSENSITIVE to the younger generation who will suffer in the near future.

Oh yeah idiots, please send your children to the local schools and universities too and stop building RM 260 billion buildings and then complain about spending RM 5mil on education.

Seriously, just plain idiots the Malaysian Education government is. And yeah, I am working to get out of this freaking idiotic too backward country who doesn't even appreciate History. assholes!

People say you love history so much, you should know Malaysian history and be patriotic.
Oh boy people, I love Ancient History and I am patriotic...to Egypt and the Ancient World, not to a country that isn't even known to people in the Middle East!

-chelle-

2009-10-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

Just watched 'Ugly Truth' and I actually identify with one of the characters; which has gotten me thinking again and the result will be me being emo for the rest of the night.

Stupid love stuff.

To say more would be to expose too much of myself and to allow that will just be an infringement of my own personal self.

to just be in your arms would definitely not make it better.

Wishing that you could be online right now, my Ancient Darling. (you seem to help get my mind off these lovey dovey emo stuff.)

-chelle-

To- do list for 17 Oct:

2009-10-17T07:38:00.000-07:00

1. Wash filthy car. Done.

2. Bind books. Done.

3. Copy notes. Done.

4. Read Herodotus "Euterpe". Done.

Conclusion for today: Very, very productive day!

My course started about two weeks ago only but I already have four new books on Egypt! Wooohooo!

Ancient darling, it maybe 18 hours difference next year?! How? :(

you broke it and I hope you'll never have it again.

-chelle-

2009-10-16T09:58:00.000-07:00

Noooooo! I'm suppose to be studying but my mind's on you and my eyes are closing and pooh is calling me to huggie him.....

Ok, tomorrow wake up early to wash car and study study!!

Happy birthday my adorable cousin, whom I keep thinking is my niece. hehe.

-chelle-

2 Es.

2009-10-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, this post is dedicated to the two Es in me life: first is the one and only fluffy Esther who so willingly and wonderfully found this new skin for me and even installed and fixed everything for me. *squeals* oops...looks around...good no aunty or uncle looking at me weirdly. Haha. You definitely cheered me up, without a doubt!

Second, E!!! As in, E, the one I super duper love! I realised that yeah I love History but I enjoy and am more interested in Ancient History such as Egypt, Aztec, Mayans and Incas; really really interesting civilisations and their methods of killing!! *jumps up and down* If you are thinking I'm a little off already, wait until you read on. But what I truly enjoy studying and reading about is actually Ancient Mummies! Oh man! They are so beautiful and though some may not have had a pleasant death, hence, the tortured looks but whoa, to me, they are asleep more than dead. I love looking at them, reading about them and one day I'm going to investigate and do plenty of research on millions of mummies!!!

tuning into: Tick tock by Kesha feat P.Diddy.

P.S: truly bless to have such fantastic friends!!!!

-chelle-

2009-10-14T18:33:00.000-07:00

"if you must, cry all you want tonight but tomorrow it's a closed chapter." ok I didn't cry. Lost my ability to cry over it but I am closing it up from today onwards and not going to talk about it ~~anymore~~. oklar, occasionally sure got la. =p

I learned these pass few days that God has truly bless me with really, really great good friends: G, A and Darling seriously thank God for you guys! *hugs* Esther, my working buddy, even though I didn't tell you but you keeping me company while at work oops! secret's out! haha. *gives a fluffy hug* and lastly, I hope you read this, Cairo Museum thank you so much for setting up the "clickable mummy" site!!!!!!!

Truly blessed!!!!!

-siao chelle is back-

still in pain.

2009-10-14T02:21:00.000-07:00

How is it that you and it can cause me this much pain?

When it gives you crap, God gives you Egypt!!!!!!

-chelle-

God-send remedies

2009-10-13T23:38:00.000-07:00

through the pain, He sends people and things to make me happy.

-chelle-

2009-10-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

If this is all it has to offer to me, I don't want even a single piece of it! It is really not worth my time, my confusion, my mind and most importantly, not worth my heart!

This is why E comes before it. E's worth my time, my mind, and all the pain my heart has to go through.
Not like it, E's pain is beneficial and worth everything!

How stupid can I be to fall for it every single time?! I wish that part of me will just shut down.

J, I know you said "self avoidance" but I rather be that than be broken.

my fragile heart is almost ~~broken~~.

-chelle-

1-5.

2009-10-12T06:17:00.000-07:00

1st: Esther, I love the two templates but I don't know why I can't download them. :(

2nd: Surprisingly, I can't study E while listening to lovey dovey songs-maybe because I'm in that confused, stupified mood.

3rd: How can you be so right about something so true about me without even knowing me well?

4th: "you always make me laugh and smile, my dear." Thanks darling! You made my day today.

5th: I want to go to Egypt now!!!!!!!

-chelle-

Heart break.

2009-10-11T08:52:00.000-07:00

Gosh! I hate this feeling! To listen to them discuss about their personal experience- all of them have seen it face to face and a few are going over to that beautiful land sometime soon or again.

It is like not being able to see someone you love for AGES (for me, it's 19 years of separation.)

How they desribe the artefacts, the mummies, the...EVERYTHING makes me long to go to those places immediately- I want to be able to experience it all for myself right now!!!!

I wonder how much more this fragile heart can take.

-chelle-

2009-10-10T09:14:00.000-07:00

When will we ever figure out what to do about 'us'?

How is it possible for me to know one thing 100% and another less than that when both involve my heart...

-chelle-

1 NO.

2009-10-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

"Unfortunately UNICEF does not provide funds to individuals."

I took a shot and was sort of hoping for something but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

Though I didn't expect it to be this painful. Then again, if it doesn't hurt even just a little, I guess that dream means nothing to me then.

"There's always going to be an uphill battle and sometimes I'm going to lose....but it's the climb."

To know what your passion is and not being able to fulfill it, stinks and hurts like mad but to have friends who genuinely support my dream and desire to see me transform my dream into a reality makes the pain a little less.

-chelle-

2009-10-08T17:21:00.000-07:00

Was talking to a friend and she was asking me about my online course etc.

Just a question to all me friends, "how many of you find joy in studying? do you guys wake up and are all excited about going to class? while reading or doing your assignment, do you guys enjoy it?"

She answered no to all except for human kinetics- I regretted asking her what that was about. Ugh bio!

My answer to the above questions is YES! I am overwhelmed with siao-ness and happiness when I get to study or do anything related to Egypt. Even though Herodotus wrote in a very different creative style but I'm still crazily excited to read through his book- to be able to understand how he viewed Egypt.

It is great to be able to study something that you want because the reaction to reading, doing assignment and exams is seriously different.

I drew a map of Egypt! I finally managed to actually draw something decent looking- will post it up next time.

-chelle-

2009-10-07T02:24:00.000-07:00

The above shows what happens when a Panda and a Dragonfly cannot sleep and it is 3-4 am. Hehe.

You may be taking a huge risk at your future but as your bestie, you've got my support and love 100%.

-chelle-

2009-10-05T18:13:00.000-07:00

Despite how tired I am when I wake up in the morning, when I turn out black baby 2 and log on to the specific page, I am suddenly wide awake and my heart starts beating a little faster while my stomach (along with the hungry sound) turns a little more...all because I will be able to talk to people with the same interest and at the same time learn more and more things about the one I love.

And every day that I log on, I am so deeply thankful to Him for helping me slowly transform my dream into reality.

fyi: mine's the cleanest plate- that's what happens when we go eat seafood...stupid allergy!

-chelle-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!!

2009-10-04T19:23:00.000-07:00

Once again, she is my inspiration and role model to be a strong and independant woman.

Thank you for supporting my dream and for loving me always.

With everlasting love,

-chelle-