My Priority

The List:

1)God

2)3+1 of my family members and max 5 dearest friends

3)Egypt

That is how much THE dream means to me.

Those who have the opportunity, I hope you never take it for granted and appreciate the blessing you have.

-chelle-

My most personal unspoken thought

Could it be just another dream? No. It is a dream that my heart desires to transform into reality despite the mountains that come my way. I have had this dream since I can remember. Many people especially while watching American Idol say that they have been singing since whenever and that this (singing) is their dream. That is how I feel about this dream- it is one that I know I must accomplish before resting in my grave.

However, with every dream there is always going to be a mountain to climb. Mine is what so many others have- money. I know so many people who do not know what they want to do yet they are blessed financially to go abroad to be taught whatever it is that seems to be the easiest for them. They have the money to go wherever it is that they want to and spend their time foolishly or they go overseas and study whatever their parents or friends think best suits them. Sometimes I feel that it is terribly unfair: I want to study something so rare and unique because my heart belongs there but I may not be able to do so because I am not as bless as the others financially. I know what I want in life. I know that although it may not be easy, I will not give up because it is the lifelong goal in my life.

I wonder why I cannot do so. The institute I am looking at is located in UK and there isn’t such a thing as a twinning or transfer programme for this particular course. For me to be able to study it as a degree, I need to do all three years over there but how? If I just do a Masters, I need to have a relevant subject in my degree for me to take up the postgraduate course but the local college/university does not offer it. It is right there in front of me but I have this huge mountain to climb and I want it more than anything else. My heart aches and tears flow as my mind runs through this huge mountain that I have to climb- one that just comes so easily for others but they don’t appreciate it.

‘Archaeology, Classics and Egyptology, School of’ is most renowned here:




University of Liverpool, Liverpool.


Those who wish to be back with their family or just go abroad because their friends are going etc, let me remind you of how blessed and fortunate you are to be able to go overseas to do a course; which can be completed over here. You have the universities, more than well equipped, here in Malaysia but you are all given this amazing opportunity to go abroad and here I am stuck in Malaysia dying to go to UK to study a subject that cannot be found here.

Despite my frustration, this enormous mountain only motivates me to study even harder for my A Levels and pray that I will be able to do what I truly want to do and not end up doing the second best.

This is my dream:



Giza Pyramids

My dream has always been to study Egyptology. It is a rare subject- one that many do not know about but there is just something simply amazing about it. I don’t know how to explain this feeling I have towards it- it is like falling completely head over heels for someone. I want nothing more than to be able to study Egyptology- I would give up all my Winnie the Poohs, all the Porsche I can buy with a lawyer’s salary, all my crime books, all my clothes just to be able to study Egyptology. That is how much I love it!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

-chelle-

Another thought after much thinking

Is it possible to still really care for someone but at the same time you are completely annoyed by them and wonder why they suddenly changed?

-chelle-

Just a thought after much thinking

Sometimes I wonder whether I have always been your second option. All these while when you seem to always have a hard time of choosing between two people, it is because you always wanted her but when she said "no" you would come back to me for comfort. Is that so? And now that she is gone you come to me when you're in need of someone to just listen to you. I won't say that you are taking advantage of me but nonetheless, it seems to me that you don't truly appreciate me. You ask me because she is no longer around- and you never or hardly ever ask me.
It just makes me wonder why can't you just make up your mind and stop making me your second choice.

-chelle-

Taken aback by just one line.

My Jesus rose and conquered the grave!

-chelle-

Time Management

I guess it is seriously time to hit the books...this time not so literally. Finals are in May and there's barely enough time to finish studying, thanks to my love to procrastinate and have fun. Hmmmm...but if this laptop is dying as soon as I think it is, I doubt I will have much temptation after all.

{off to drown in 'Terms of the contract'}

-chelle-

Given up on love

Love is not as easy as it seems. I have seen how love can change a person for the better or the worse. I have seen how love motivates a person to achieve more in life but I have also seen how love can drain a person emotionally.

Looking at how the situation is for a friend of mine, who is having a very long distance relationship, I feel like love is no longer worth a try. Why? Because no matter how much I want to believe that the right person will come when the time is right and I will know that it is love, I will never be able to find a person, who fulfills my conditions a 100%.

-chelle-

Fall for over and over again

I know they are suppose to be a very old and 'yesterday' band but they are my favourite. For every heart break I've gone through, their songs are my comfort. Vocally only two of them can really sing and in the physical appearance department, they are average except for one, who is of course my favourite. He is like the reason why I'm crazy over guys with blue eyes, brown hair and gorgeous dimples! (sadly, he is gay...why!)They have a great collection of ballads;which to many youngsters are boring and bleh but if you listen to the lyrics of their songs- it truly describes love and all that comes along with it.

1. Swear It Again
2. What Makes A Man
3. Written In The Stars
4. My Love
5. I Lay My Love On You
6. Close
7. World Of Our Own
8. Uptown Girl
9. When You're Looking Like That
10.Every Little Thing You Do

-chelle-

Thoughtless

time to hit the books

Thanks Cambridge! (sarcastically)

Here is what I found online:

28 May : Contract Law
1 June : Tort Law
4 June : English Literature 6
10 June: English Literature 5 and Economics 4
12 June: Economics 3

It may seem a long more time but time passes by real fast and stupid 10 June! Cambridge is trying to kill me...*sobs*

Then I saw:

18 May: History 1
2 June: History 3
22 May: History 5
25 May: History 6

And I wondered, when will the time be when my timetable is like this instead of the former. I cannot wait to do what I have always wanted to do since form 1.

-chelle-

*jumps for joy*

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally have my new baby!!!!!!!!

It's gorgeous and sleek and best of all BLACK!

-chelle-

Pride destroys relationship but Humility overcomes it.

They say, "you are too much of a picky perfectionist, cannot find a guy next time".
I say, "I rather be one than to never set goals and achieve them. I rather be single than to live a miserable life with somebody who isn't of my choice. Besides I have History for a life time, why would I need a man? Hehe.

Pride is being critical and to overcome that, we need humility. I think that there should be a balance in both. If we are not critical, we will never achieve our best. However, along the way, we also need to have humility to thank those who have helped us get to the top and forget those who became obstacles.

-chelle-