2009-2010

Hello 2010! I'm so proud of myself for immediately sticking with one of my main new year's resolution and that is *drum roll* 30 minutes in the gym (even though I got lost on the way back home, haha).

2010 has arrived and 2009 is in the past but being the ever 'Modern Ancient Historian', it is only au natural for me to look back and dig up the past memories -good and bad- to learn from them (that is the greatest joy of History, learning.) 


2009: Crazy year it was, in the sense of emotions and academic. Started the year with the determination to excel in my A Levels but somehow someway I failed as my goal and vision changed. From Law to Psychology to Ancient History to Psychology again. From UOL to Liverpool U to Macquaire U to Auckland U to Manchester U and Monash U. Truly it was a fantastically crazy emotional ride for me but I learnt something so valuable from the painful experience; He truly knows what is best for me and as much pain that I had to go through, He was that very ONE PERSON that stood right next to me, holding my hand through it all.  
What better Saviour, God, King and Friend could I ever ask for?


2010: First of, I start with 'new' skin and a new diet that I have to follow- sucks. Secondly, I guess once again, my life's going to be revolved around my studies and I literally mean it since I have enrolled in both Manchester University (for Egyptology!!!) and Monash University (for Psychology), which means I shall be studying two courses simultaneously for the next three years. I know it is going to be tough as hell but for one of my greatest love, E, I am going to strive through the next three years and work my "blithering arse" off to do what I was born to do. 
I am still here (Malaysia) because of 10 to 12 (and hopefully more) people and this is so because He has placed that burden within me and for Him and them, I am going to do my best in not only leading but leading in His way.


-chelle-

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Outfit for the night:

sorry for the awful picture quality- room lighting sucks!

-chelle-

My song for 2010, I pray.

All that I am 
All that I have
I lay them down before You, oh Lord


All my regrets
All my acclaim
The joy and the pain I'm making them Yours


Things in the past
Things yet unseen

Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true

All of my hopes
All of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You


Indeed it is a beautiful 'transparent' song. The words are so meaningful but how times have we sung it with absolute understanding of its meaning? 

Indeed it is a beautiful 'transparent' song. So easy to catch with words that are not hard to pronounce and a tune that isn't too hard, but how easy is it for us to do as the song says?


Indeed it is a beautiful 'transparent' song. The red words are painful and held closely to this Modern Ancient Historian's heart.


My wish and dream, I give it to You. 

-chelle-

By God's given patience.

What a way to spend my morning/afternoon Christmas eve- with a 17 year old boy who dissed two superbly important things in my life- God and Egypt.

I never knew I had such great patience until I met him (can't exactly remember his name either). First he spoke badly about Egypt without having proper knowledge and basing his 'fact' on "because many have said so", my sweet dear innocent robotically nimrod doofball, those people don't know the real hard facts or even have a clue of what they are saying. He can even insist on arguing with me after I told him that I am studying Egyptology and that I have solid proof that his 'facts' are 100 % incorrect.

Then, he disses about religion and says absurd stuff that I couldn't be bothered to really write down except for this very good part:

Nimrod: What is so good about religion? It's full of bullshit!

Me: The only reason why you're still in the car that I am driving is because of my faith.

Nimrod: That's what you call faith? That's your own nature.

Me: Oh trust me! My own nature would be to stop the car and have you out of it immediately.

Nimrod: god or religion didn't ....etc...

Me: Trust me! It's because of God's given patience that you're still in the car.

A: ok changing subject.

Never will I ever want to see that boy again who simply has no respect for ladies, people's belief and the people who nicely allowed her friend to bring him out. Asshole!

On a much much nicer note: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

-chelle-

Is it possible to want two different "things" but more liikely a combination of both?

-chelle-

Something new, something fresh?

A year has almost gone by- 10 more days till 2010. To say that time has passed by so fast is well...something I don't think I can say. I have spent 6 months doing almost nothing except for the occasional holidays but thank God for 1st October. That date marks a VERY essential point in my life, in my dream. It was the beginning of me transforming my dream into a reality- slow and steady wins the race.

I think I have learned a lot about myself the pass six months (of rotting)- my strength, my weaknessess, my dream, how I want my life to be like etc. In some ways, I feel like I don't want to encounter anymore disappointments but I heard something today from Montel Williams and Scott (something), "without the challenges, without the obstacles, without the disappointments, the ups mean nothing." Therefore, I am going to embrace all the obstacles that 2010 is going to bring me. No I am not being negative/pessimistic, I'm merely being realistic because I know that for the next three years, life for me especially academically will not be easy- there will not be any easy way out of the next three years but for the one thing I love with all my heart, I will not give up.

Jessica Lowndes- she is SO PRETTY!!! even without makeup.

 *faints* 

-chelle-

UP TO NO GOOD!

I had time to spare today to do this (haven't done so in a while)

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry people but I couldn't help it. Haha. Love pic 1 and 3 the most.

I think I may have somewhat figured out why I'm still here (in Malaysia).

-chelle-

Hardcore: This is the Truth.

There is still this super strong desire to go abroad. To know that A may have a chance next year breaks my heart as I will be overjoyed for her (success) but at the same time, pain because it isn't me saying "goodbye" at the other end. 

It is not just about being able to study what I want (though that is my biggest motivation) but it is also about a fresh start; one that I know I won't really be able to achieve if I go to Australia. 

I hate it because I know that I'm still here because He knows that I am not ready. I really want to restart everything but it is impossible as long as I'm here. I know deep inside my gut (and heart) that 'there' is where I belong, not here but there.

Somebody prayed just now "bless her at Monash". Just those four words... and tears filled my eyes and the pain resurfaced in my heart.  It is as if reality suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks that yeah, I am not going to AU but to MU and studying something 'not really my first option'.




"I'm sorry to say that I have to reject the offer that Auckland University has given to me. Thank you for even considering me in the first place. Appreciate that the university gave me a chance."


I guess today is just one of those many 'down' days where the pain and reality overwhelms me.

-chelle-

I think at times I feel bad for having no emotions. I can feel for those I don't know; for characters that may or may not exist but when it comes to those I know, the feelings seem to evaporate or worse, it seems to cease to exist.

That smile I give to you, that happy face I put on- I know it is all pretend. So, does that mean I don't genuinely love you? That is sad and mean on my part but feelings are hard to fight. 

Seeing you reminds me of the most important thing in my life- the thing that I fight for every single day.


I rarely read story books with emotions. In fact, the books I read are all crime and mystery base- maybe that is how I have sort of become sadistic (as in Ancient Torture Methods). Maybe that is why factual books work best for me, because no emotions or feelings are required. But movies are different- my favourite genre is romantic comedy. Watching romantic comedies and understanding how she or he feels connects me with the character. I seem to understand them.

Dorothy Koomson has made history!  Her best-selling book; "My best friend's girl" has gotten me hooked and emotionally intertwined. How she writes it- the plot and all the descriptions. No book has ever gotten me emotionally hooked like this. It almost breaks my heart and I pretty much tear up reading a number of the chapters. Good job, Dorothy Koomson!!!

-chelle- 

Here is what I did for today....

Now if you didn't know my mum loves extra people in the house. Well it has been about a week since we discovered that we've got a new family member which also has four legs but it is no way cute or cuddly or friendly or one that I even want in my room especially not near my food or my 20 + babies....

Ok, so this is my plan once we catch it: place little poison sweets in front of it, let it eat them, wave knife in front of its face, laugh at it, wave somemore and oops! there goes the neck! then saw of its tail, turn it upside down and hang it there for a few hours....while I go off and buy natron salt.

Dip it in natron salt for 70 days and then wrap it up with toilet paper and wave it at the rest of its friends!

*evil laugh* Mummy and sis think I've got a little nuts...but I'm not.


-chelle-

I finally bought clothes with COLOUR! Mum and sister are very happy. Haha.

And as a reward for those who went for last night's YAC, we went snooker after. Haha.

-chelle-

The above shows what happens to an anti-social person who suffers from the lack of the internet and electricity.

-chelle-

okay, maybe I shouldn't have taken a picture with the foxi-est lady in the world...*close eyes*

Gave me the world, to take it all away

All you left me was yesterday
And this space in my heart
Now it's slowly tearin’ me apart
I'm takin’ all that I learned from you
I'll make it something I’ll never do
I can't be who you are
You taught me how to break a heart
 
P.S: Dear, it's your fault I'm hooked again.
 
-chelle-

I am officially in LOVE!

Honestly, I have never known or seen anything more beautiful or magnificent than the ancient sites. There is something so EXTRAORDINARY about Ancient History. The sights of something so old are, to me, literally breathtaking- the stones, the mud, the pottery, and the bones. Worth more than the modern sights in Dubai or USA or wherever else in the modern world because the modern world derived their technologies, their ideas from the ancient world, but sadly only the minority seems to have realised that.


To be able to travel around the world to see all the historical sites- beautiful!


I’m really left at awe at all of its beauty that I have lost all the words to describe how I feel when I watch these sites from afar (my TV). I can only imagine (at this point of my life) the feeling of walking through these beautiful sites: Catalhoyuk; Turkey, Fiume; Egypt, Oregon; USA, Israel, Chan Chan; Peru, Jericho, Ephesus; Greece, Mayan; South America, Angkor; Cambodia and Jerusalem- I think I would just break down in tears the second I realise I’m placing my foot down on any of these sites.


And now, a mummy found in St. James (something) church in freaking LONDON!!!!



Thank God for “Out of Egypt” and “Mummy Autopsy” on Discovery Channel today!

Thank God for this great passion (regardless of how many obstacles I've got overcome).*faints*

-chelle-

It is becoming more confusing and heavier by the topic but there is just this great sense of happiness and excitement boilling from within me.

I do feel insecure and incapable compared to my senior classmates but it is because of their great knowledge about E that encourages me to do better.

It is interesting that "the more complicated it gets, the crazier I fall in love with E."

off to finish studying before test. *nervous*

-chelle-

New addition to my every growing "baby" family (LOL) :

Say hello to T-10! It looks better real life and I got it for fun! (Ok, I shouldn't be wasting money like that... *innocent smile*)

-chelle-

Here's a true story:

She holds on to the pain because she fears that if she lets it go, if she lets the wound heal; it would mean that she's letting go of her dream- her passion, her desire- the one goal she must achieve before she is laid to rest.

The look in your eyes tells me that you have changed but you did so at the expense of a loved one- disgusting!

YAC 2, thank you so much for these BEAUTIFUL bangles!

-chelle-

What one does on her birthday...*big grin*

11 books and counting...

-chelle-

19th Birthday!

Thank You for the 19 years!

People! I went to Tarbush in KL and though it wasn't exactly Egyptian food but it was Middle Eastern and Hallelujah I LOVE THE FOOD!!!!Amen.  Hehe.

How am I going to spend my birth- day this year: full day of Egyptian stuff! Best present I can give myself. hehe.

-chelle-

*squeals* second goal in a row!

Even though the questions become harder with every passing week, I really do revel in the challenge to understand all the confusion and to answer the questions properly, and though there is seriously A LOT, I know I'm on the right path.

that's me on the red board! hehe.

birthday celebration top...

ok, I'm officially a nutcase for handbags!

-chelle-

"passion never dies and will become a reality when the time is right." those are the words spoken texted by my mummy to me.  *runs and hug her*

me: mummy! *hugs*

mummy: what do you want? (in sarcastic tone)

me: nothing.

mummy: ok, what did you do then? (sarcastically again)

Anyways, I'm so happy that my assignment received great reviews especially from my lecturer. *pat self on the back*

Now off to study somemore... 2 1/2 more days to celebrating!

-chelle-

Ok, before I start hitting the papers, books and 'blackboard'...I'm rushing to complete this week's assignment which is about predynastic pottery (that's a first!), I shall bloggy a little:

Making notes

Spot the 'blackboard' (behind all that MSN boxes...hehe)

It's actually Milo but in a Nescafe cup...make sense? No...oh well. =P

Music, me saviour!

And all these rushing (it's 11 pm already) because I'm going for a serious shopping spree with me favourite Dragonfly, tomorrow:

Chelle,

I'm hiding...

Pain.

-chelle-