A fresh start?

It's a new beginning. It was 'O' week- basically the general introduction to the university, a tour, the library, the 9 buildings and 6 levels each (good exercise) etc. 

How do I feel about it? Let's just say I have got this superbly amazing Friend, JC, who spent the entire time just being by my side and holding my hand through the first day and the second and the third. He is truly an amazing Friend but more importantly an even better God and Saviour.

Now all that is running through my mind is that I have got to learn to balance everything and I am excited to start studying again especially one subject known as Psychology but doing it here, not so thrilled about it but like I said above, I have got Him and that is one thing I cannot be more thankful for.

 

into the mirror I look and all I can say is "I lay every burden down...at the foot of the cross."

-chelle-

Sucker for romance.

I think the right person is the one who inspires you to become a better person, to achieve all that you can achieve, to be who you are and the one who has all the faith in you.

Nicholas Sparks is amazing!

-chelle-

Scream

 Funny how Disney movies or songs inspire me to reach further out to touch my dream or remind me that I should not give up on what matters in my heart.

Guess it does sound somewhat cheesy and maybe childish but they have many movies with great in-between the lines meaning that I have learned to listen or watch through each movie.

The day a door is closed
The echoes fill your soul
They won't say which way to go
Just trust your heart

To find you're here for
Open another door
But i'm not sure anymore
It's just so hard

Voices in my head
Tell me they know best
Got me on the edge
they're pushin', pushin',
they're pushin'
I know they've got a plan
But the balls in my hands
This time its man-to-man,
I'm driving, fighting inside

A world that's upside down
Spinning faster
What do I do now? Without you

I'm kickin' down the walls
I gotta make 'em fall
Just break through them all
I'm punchin', crashin', I'm gonna
Fight to find myself
Me and no one else
Which way? I can't tell,
I'm searchin', searchin', can't find the

Road that I should take
I should! turn right or left is
It's like nothing works without you

I don't know, where to go, what's the right team?
I want my own thing. So bad I'm gonna Scream!
I can't choose, so confused! What's it all mean?
I want my own dream. So bad I'm gonna Scream!

-chelle- 

losing.

There’s always going to be another mountain I’m always going to wanna make it move, always going to be an uphill battle, sometimes I’m going to have to lose”

That last word of this amazingly beautiful song has never been allowed to enter my mind. It seems to me that if I acknowledged that ending part, it would mean I would be giving up on my dream, my desire, the peak of that mountain. It has been a struggle for the pass two years and yes, it is somewhat easier to understand the situation I am in now but somtimes, the slightest word or thing triggers that big space in my heart and tears start flowing down. It can be so frustrating not being able to achieve your dream- having to wait for a long more while, to have to do something else besides what makes you so genuinely happy- that hurts like hell. Most of the time, it hurts more than a betrayal of a friend or a love one. Yes, it really means that much to me.

But this post isn’t about me ranting over and over again how much I j’adore my dream, how much I desire to see it come true right now. No, it is about me accepting where I am right now and what I will be doing for the next three years; studying in Monash University. As much as I hate the thought of it, but like the song says “sometimes I’m going to have to lose” but then again as the song continues “it’s not about how fast I get there, it’s about the climb.” I learned from watching Hannah Montana, the movie again that I have to accept where God has placed me for now- He knows what He’s doing. Maybe I’m not ready (though I feel so ready) but He knows me best (as cheesy as that sounds, that’s the truth. He created and mould me, so He does know me best.)

1st March 2010 marks the real beginning of where I will be for the next three years, a nightmare which will eventually subside into a wonderful experience and then I’ll be able to achieve my dream. Psych, International Studies and Gender Studies are all super interesting subjects that I have always thought of studying but they are nowhere near the place E has in my heart.

“I have got to be strong. I have got to keep fighting, keep climbing and keep the faith.”

-chelle-

Do you know the feeling of reading a simple message or a text from someone and it simply makes your day so much better even if the day is nearing to an end? I do.

God has bless me with a group of people that love me for who I am and this group of people, though small in number, is the best thing in life. I know I can say all I want about Egypt, History, Bones, achieving my dream etc, but without their support, their love, their "you go Chelle!" my dream would not be able to come true because they are the ones driving me towards the dream, reminding me always that I have what it takes. Not only that, their love, support and care is a small reflection of how much God loves, supports and cares for me for He has brought them into my life.

She is one of those people in that small group. She has known me since I was in diapers, had my first crush and though we have had our time apart, the day we had (yesterday) and the little messages that carry so much reminds me that, at the end of it all, I am truly bless to have her in my life.

S, you too have made my day so much better and me so much happier!  

P.S: Tomorrow is a different day. I will be stepping into what I would personally call "a little nightmare" especially since it is far away from my dream. But I have got to take this window since all doors are close. sucks.


-chelle-

Dedicated to S.

Today was that kind of day where you had a gut feeling that everything was going to go fine and it did, thus, making your day a fantasticc one. 

Why today was different from every other day? That is because I got to spend it with someone I grew up with, someone I grew to love more each and every day (no I'm not a lesbian), someone who despite the time apart still knows me best and that someone is my dearest bestie, S. Sadly I don't know how to hook the scanner to my laptop (the actual reason is I'm too lazy to get my ass off the bed) to show you a picture of us. =D

I spent the day shopping with her and her brother's girlfriend and mum- it was so much fun. All the laughter we shared and the "I'm fat" comments. Haha. Will treasure this day forever and am looking forward to our next outing.  

Love you always S!!! And know that I WILL ALWAYS be there for you. *hugs*

Here are the things I bought today (warning: bad quality pictures)

Clearly am an addict for handbags.

 

Another LBD, though the pattern on the waist is not visible. Oh well. 

Love this one!!!

Different touch to my favourite outfit, tank tops.

-chelle-

B.O.N.E.S

Superly Huge Gigantic OMG and *faints*

The show that taught me to love the dead even more. The show that made me realise I should have taken Biology and dropped Physics instead. The show that blows my mind every time with all the skeletons....*big screams*

It has FINALLY downloaded though not complete yet but majority done! *faints*

Bones! One of the two shows that help me discover more about what and how I want my future to be like. Loving it so much! And starting my show now!!! *runs off*

-chelle-