*writes slowly with a 'cacated' left hand*
Here is my list of the required attributes I want in the man of my dreams (if it is long, please dial 012-640 87** and request for the name Andreanna Ten Maven; that's my bestie,A).
1.God-fearing
2.Confident
3.Determined
4.Knows what he wants in life
5.Good working ethics
6.Respectful
7.Well-mannered
8.Presentable
9.Loyal
10.Understands that Egypt has a special place in my heart
Okay, those are just the few that I can think of right now- I have others i.e knows how to cook, good vocals, plays either the guitar or drum etc.
But, why bother having this stupid list when it is highly unlikely that I will be able to find someone all so perfect? Sometimes I do wonder, 'is there actually a soul mate out there for me?' I wish I can know that answer now and then I don't have to worry about this stupid love stuff.
Then again, I have Egypt. Seriously, people I am in love with this country's ancient history and it is almost completely unexplainable and I don't mind that. I have said before to A, "when you ask me why I love that guy and I have nothing to say, you'll know that I have found someone so special" because that is true. I think for me, to know that I love someone or something is when I am lost for words.
Or is that just an excuse? Am I trying to use Egypt as an excuse to avoid falling in love? Did I make that stupid list to avoid love? Am I really that afraid of testing the water?
All I know is that I would rather choose Egypt than a guy because I would rather go through the pain and challenges to achieve a life-long dream than to go through a broken heart because of a living person. I can say that I would choose the dead over the living. (hehe)
Then again, am I thinking about all of these just because I am in denial? I have to admit that yes I am in denial and it is very much because I am afraid. I know that it will never work out, that it isn't meant to be. Then why do I have all these thoughts?
P.S: it is just my thoughts and my feelings.
-chelle-
3 comments:
I would have to say...leave it in God's hands. Yeah, I know, so annoying and cliche, but that's only because it's another excuse to comfort ourself knowing that we're not in total control of the future, or our lives as a matter of fact.
But if God really wants you to marry a guy, he'll be evrything you ever thought you can get, and be even more than that. But remember that the whole love-marriage thing cannot be one-sided. You must do your part even as he does his.
For example, if the guy really has a bad sense of rhythm, you simply can't force a drum beat into his head. And if one of his criterias is to have a wife who LOVES maths, but you obviously will die from it, he can't force you to love it. Like that la.
But don't worry. Trust God, not men.
Exactly! That's why I put Egypt first! Can I like ask God, please let me experience Egypt before bringing along the right man? Do you think God will allow that?
Honestly, I've asked God for that too. And He's giving it to me via my course. And selfishly, I want more. But if this is all He's going to give me, I'm content.
=)
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